Fall...

I fell into me, quite unexpectedly, and it was hard...a hard fall. I fell and crashed into my insecurities, I saw them for what they were, the brightness of truth hurting my eyes, my heart, my ego. I saw there the debris of my emotional baggage, the hording of my failures, the blurriness of my dreams and the shards of the pain I once felt, its edges still cutting into me.

I knew that this ugliness of truth would only do me good, but I could not accept it, so I looked away and I continued in my adventure of ignore-your-problems party. I drank and got high, I ignored the tears that would sneak out from time to time and told myself I was fine, I kept on going and still do and wonder when the ignoring will stop. Perhaps when life will have slapped me raw and will have left no more room for avoiding things I got to deal with...perhaps! I knew though, that sooner or later, I would come to you...to you, dear me. This is all a journey to get to you, my id! This is my coming-of-age story, my moment, my dream, my climax...when I have finally found myself.