Friday, 24 December 2010

Fucked UP Christmas....yet again!

I am fucking mad, beyond mad...but even more hurt than mad. Today is the 24th, feeling a bit better than I did last year around this same time and then the bomb comes, an email with hurtful words and even more hurtful statements. After one year of having moved out and not picked up my stuff, he has donated them to salvation army. How could you do that? How can you send me that hateful email and do those hateful things when all I have been thinking this whole week is how much I miss you and just how much I still love you?

 Im so fucking hurt....yet another fucked up christmas, as usual. Story of my fucking life.

Am glad that nobody is here at 8:43am at work cause im fucking crying like an idiot and it is all your fault. How I wish I didn't have a heart, how I wish I wasn't such a fucking idiot, how I wish I hadn't loved, I take that back, I would never wish that, I'm glad I loved you. I just wish I was a different person so I could deal with things differently, be stronger, smarter....but I am too fucked up to be happy. I deserve my misery, I bring it onto myself.

So, merry christmas to you too Dhary, and thanks for breaking my heart again, on christmas, one year later.

Hateful love,


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