Saturday, 17 August 2013

The 2am ritual

You trot home drunk and high, feeling somewhat at unease at the night's events. You come home and you find sleeping your gf on the bed with whom you share one because you see, you share a bachelor apartment with your best friend. She smokes and so you smoke, you help out each other but you still share a bed so why not just let her sleep and steal your laptop to the balcony? Ah yes, a much better idea! This way you get to fill up your pipe and get more high, pop open your bottle of Polish beer Zywiec so you can properly end this night. You put on some 8tracks playlist that you have been in love with and your night is golden. You listen to that shit, you take two puffs out of your pipe, a swig off your beer, and your life is complete. You wonder how people in relationships can do it but then again, you just came out of a party where couples reined and it makes you wonder....what the fuck are you doing with your life?! Not from a boyfriend's point of view because that's pointless right now but career wise, you just feel like you just came drenched with "what-ifs" and "how-is-it-possible-that-you-don't-have-a-job" statements that just cut deep into your subconscious and reverberate your fears and insecurities even more. You wonder; how so, friend? I wonder that, too! And so, you come here, at a balcony, sharing a bachelor with your best friend because that's all you can afford and it doesn't matter that you are conceding because it's the most expensive area, so you say...this is good enough, for now. For life, is all about now...And tomorrow, is about tomorrow. You are happy with the trees around you, the Casa Loma view, the park avenue, and the potential of a better tomorrow. You say to yourself, I am ok with this, for now. For I know, that tomorrow, I shall have a different now, one composing of pieces of my dreams, perhaps. And so, you continue, in this daily torrent of life, treading frantically at an abstract illusion of what you think you want...

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