Wednesday, 20 October 2010

"What are you upset about?" - he asked.
"Am just upset about my life in general." - she answers and is surprised to find that the utterance of that sentence, drops her into this void of contemplation about what exactly her life is about and what makes her so upset. She has the question loud and clear in front of her and its perverse presence brings on a monologue...a monologue for her but now for you too...

"What am I exactly upset about? Am just upset about my life in general. Am tired at this constant melancholy state I am in, at my negativity at things, at my fear of failure and my love of the dramatic. Am tired of my life-crippling procrastination, at my million and one ideas and my zero actions. Am tired of my life as a passerby, my life as a follower, my life as a shy leaf, my life as a burnt flame. I want new things, i want a new me, i want a different altogether person. Give it to me, God. Please, just listen to me for once and give me what I need to be happy. If not that, at least help me figure out what exactly do I want to pursue in this life. What should I do? I went wrong somewhere along my path and now am all wound up in a ditch with a thousand crossroads in front of me and nowhere to go, no legs to carry me, no energy to even get up. Why have you paralyzed me so? The truth is, I know it is me who has paralyzed me so and can't seem to bring myself to get up. Go away, fear! Go away, self-doubt! Come here, light! Envelop me, love me, caress me, fill me!"

"Helloooo!?" - he asks her and wakes her from her trance. She realizes that she had forgotten where she was for some time and had this person, this friend, this guy in front of her looking inquisitively at her as if she was some weird stranger. Her monologue must have shown on her face for the guy looked somewhat worried. "You ok?" he proceeded to ask and she had no answers, none to satisfy his curiosity nor his worry. Yes, she was ok...maybe not now, but she will be and that is how she finished yet another episode, moment, fraction of her life.

1 comment:

Verdigris Vie said...

One step, one hour, one day at a time..

You Gottem...
email me ( for Your tickets to the S&C tickets to the show..