Tuesday, 7 September 2010
The rain just started. The cold coming from the open balcony door has enveloped my feet and the sound of Lhasa de Sela is hugging my soul. Another cigarette was lit and another article was read. Now...all that is left is writing here about another trivial moment in my life and yet...so full of meaning, like any other moment that fills and makes up our life. I sip my Czechvar beer, I move my fingers to type here, I dream of success and desirable futures and taste the bitterness of my current failures and my constant loneliness. I stop a minute, I listen to the song, hear Lhasa's lamenting sound and feel my soul crying, the tears dripping in my blood and filling me with sorrow.
I sing along with Lhasa, I voice outloud the suffering of the words Con Toda Palabra and... and unlike what the song says, I feel the lack of words, the powerful punch of emotions, the thunder of my beating heart reverberating through my thoughts, my soul, my being.
I feel alone and yet...somehow, comforted by the presence of my books, my music, my photographs, my art, my hobbies, my likes and my dislikes. I wish away my loneliness and yet...somehow, I welcome it, I bathe in it, I caress it and beg it to treat me well, teach me about myself, to inspire me, to hug me, to awaken me into the light of emancipation...
Light, embrace me. Hope,touch me. Love, fill me. Past, forgive me.