Wednesday, 16 November 2011




The leaves fall,
one by one,
sometimes two at once,
sometimes three or more.

The hole within me grows,
bit by bit;
sometimes two by two,
sometimes exponentially more.

He has forgotten me,
but I still have him,
inside of me,
inside this memory-ridden conscience.

There is darkness and light,
they fight.
They hate each other,
they love each other,
they're hateful lovers,
they play games under the covers.

I want one as I want the other.
One is always following me,
while the other constantly evades me.
Except for brief periods where it gently lets me capture her,
hold her and caress her,
feel her warmth while she fools me that it will last,
and then, she escapes just as swiftly.

I want her to stay,
but she is fleeting,
capricious like the wind,
transcendent like heaven.

Love, oh you cruel thing!
Your light torments me,
my desire of you consumes me,
my journey to you has exhausted me.

I want your shape to metamorphose,
for the love of a man I now oppose.
I want you to change your cape,
the love of career and money
I want to stake.

I hope our wishes will parallel one day,
for I am tired,
of this constant chase that to win, I pray.

20 comments:

Onno said...

Sa nga keto vargje marrin baze nga realiteti yt, I.?

Ocean drift... said...

How many do you think, person who knows my name?

Onno said...

Answering a question with a question? So mysterious!

Ocean drift... said...

Lol. Mysterious is my middle name :D:D

Onno said...

.. and yet the question remains unanswered..

Ocean drift... said...

My question to you also remains unanswered...by you! :)

Onno said...

Correct. But I asked first. I think it's only fair then that you answer first.

Ocean drift... said...

I cannot argue with the last point.

Yes, almost everything I write is about me. Happy?

Onno said...

That's what I thought.

You sound so sad sometimes. I suppose we're all sad in our own way, but some people are better at hiding it than others.

Do you like the relative anonymity of this blog, or do you wish you had more readers?

Ocean drift... said...

I am sad, yes. But I also seem to be better at writing about sadness than anything else. This is what comes out more easily. It flows out almost instinctively, like a river of emotions waiting to be emptied out so they can perform some kind of purifying technique employed perhaps through mother nature's means of survival or self-preservation. I like the anonymity of the blog, although at the same time I do crave more attention and readership. However, having people read my thoughts and my deepest fears is also very excruciating for me and fearsome.

Who are you?

Onno said...

Yes. If you contemplate happiness too much, it has a tendency to fade. Sadness, on the other hand, relishes contemplation. That's why we wax poetic about it.

I'm your reader. And since I'm anonymous, having me read your thoughts and deepest fears doesn't have to be excruciating and fearsome.

Ocean drift... said...

But you know my name so you can't possibly be anonymous. Hence, this adds to my....fear let's say ;)

Onno said...

Good point.

Don't worry though. I'm in no position to share these inner thoughts of yours with anyone consequential to you. And I'm not judgemental by temperament.

So go on, wax away.

Ocean drift... said...

This could dissipate some of my fear, but it does not take away my curiosity of you....

How did you discover my blog?

Onno said...

Come on now, Sherlock. Accept that there are things that we know, things that we do not know, and things that we cannot know.

Who I am is a thing of the latter variety, for now.

Isn't curiosity much better before, rather than after it's been satisfied?

Ocean drift... said...

No! My thirsty mind cannot accept reality. Needs its vice to be satiated so reveal yourself, stranger.

And you didn't even answer my question as to how you discovered my blog....

Onno said...

:)

I'm not a stranger. I won't help more than that, and that includes answering your question. If you can figure it out, all the power to you.

BWAHAHA!! (That's diabolical laughter, in case you didn't catch the fine nuance of the CAPS and exclamation marks.)

Ocean drift... said...

Liri????

Onno said...

Is that a name? Because it's not mine.

Anyway, maybe you're wasting energy on figuring out who I am.

I'm your nonexistent reader. Think of me as a stone, or a tree, or a lake where you're at ease enough to pour out your thoughts. And think of me as the wind that carries your thoughts away to places unknown. And, when I reply, think of the wind that sometimes sounds as if it's howling words we can't quite make out.

Ocean drift... said...

Onno, those are beautiful words. Thank you for being my inexistent reader :)